Wow to the Wow!

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Welcome to another TMNT recap! THis weeks episode is a weird one. There’s a huge Russian guy with a busted eye, we see Shredder and his busted face without his helmet, and there’s a guy who’s part Michael Jackson, part Hudson Hawk, part Tron character, and all annoying! Enjoy!

WARNING: SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

We open up with with a Russian army guy named Steranko jerking off to his cool historical weapon collection. One thing is missing though, Shredder’s helmet. To steal the helmet he hires Zeck XXX, a guy that talks like Michael Jackson, looks likes a character from Tron, complete with 1980’s purple neon techno powers, and has more witticisms than Peter Parker. God I hope he dies cause he’s annoying as hell.

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In the lair, Splinter is sad cause Karai’s gone, still locked up in Shredder’s dungeon from the end of the last episode. Hey, Splinter! If you’re so sad, why don’t you get off your ass and go save her?
Leo is also sad about Karai, but actually wants the guys to help him go rescue her, something they (Raph) are not too keen to do. They then have an actual discussion (sort of) about whether Leo is really the leader of the Turtles. The answer is…inconclusive. For now.
Leo decides he’s going to rescue Karai with or without their help, at which point they decide they should have their brother’s back and go with him.

In the dungeon, Karai is trying to bust her way out by filing away the bars with a silver coin. She might be there a while.

Meanwhile, Anton Zeck, who I’m going to call Purple Tron from this point, being a master thief, breaks into Shredder’s lair and steals his helmet. Bradford almost stops him, but Purple Tron uses his “rad” 80’s Tron powers to escape.

Shredder is PISSED! He orders everyone, meaning Bradford, Xever Baxter Stockman, Tiger Claw to go after Purple Tron and get his shiny helmet back. Also, Shredder is pretty damn ugly without that helmet so I kind of hope he gets it back. Also also, I’m a little bummed out that Shredder doesn’t look like Kevin Nash. It’s OK, I’ll get over it. At least he looks like Luke Skywalker’s busted up dad.

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The Turtles accidentally mow down Purple Tron in the Shellraiser. Let that be a lesson to you, of you’ve got invisibility powers, don’t run in the middle of the road.
The Turtles get their hands on the helmet, and Leo comes up with the plan to exchange the helmet for Karai.

Xever and Stockamn make team A, while Tiger Claw and Bradford make team B. I’ll think of cooler names for their respective team slater. Tiger Claw and Bradford have some really funny banter. I’d now like to see a Tiger Claw and Bradford spinoff series. It could be called Cats and Dogs? Hmm, I’ll keep woking on it.

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Purple Tron gets his revenge on the Shellraiser by totalling it, with the Turtles inside. Before he can get the helmet, all the bad guys show up and the inevitable game of Hot Potato begins. I guess it should be called Hot Helmet, though. Lots of fighting, lots of helmet throwing and catching. Very fun sequence.

Stockman shoots a big billboard with his acid spit which ends up falling on Donnie, Raph and Mikey, crushing them to death while Leo screams “NOOO!” like every action movie character ever.

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The guys are alright, just temporarily pinned down. Leo goes on his own to barter with Shredder for Karai. Before he gets to Shredder, though, he has one more run in with Purple Tron and the other baddies.

After a scuffle, Purple Tron ends up with the bag with the helmet in it. The baddies are just about to beat the purple out of him when Steranko shows up with a laser shooting helicopter and whisks Purple Tron away to safety. Only problem is hat tin stead of the helmet being in the bag, theres a poopy nappy. Not so mater thiefy now, eh?

Leo arrives with helmet in hand to Shredder’s lair where he begins negotiations with the Shredder. Negotiations break down rather quickly and a fight ensues. Leo’s getting his butt kicked when suddenly his brothers arrive so that they can all get their butts kicked by Shredder together.

Donnie pulls the old smoke bomb hidden inside the helmet trick and the Turtles escape with Karai. Yay Turtles! Well, sort of…

On a rooftop they discover they actually rescued a bomb, which almost blows them to pieces. And that’s where we fade to the credits.

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So Shredder has his shiny helmet back and Karai’s still trapped in the dungeon, leaving us exactly where we started at the beginning of the episode. Oh well, you can’t win ’em all.

Final Thoughts

Interesting instalment of TMNT 2012. With an episode titled, “The Legend of the Kuro Kabuto'” I was expecting a bit more of a backstory to the helmet and how Shredder came to acquire it. It was explained, but it just wasn’t as great a legend as I expected. A cool ninja made it ages by fusing together a bunch of steal from dudes that he beat up, it’s been in the Foot for 1,500 years, now Shredder has it. Cool story, Bro!
As soon as the purple, 1980’s Michael Jackson Tron character (is that everything?) got his hands on the helmet, I had a feeling we were about to witness one epic game of hot potato. And that we did. And a really entertaining game it was.

The comedy highlight of the episode for once wan’t Mikey. It was Bradford and Tiger Claw hilarious, albeit brief banter. #TigerClawAndBradford! I still have to work on their tag team name. American Japanese Mutant Dog and Tiger Connection Express?

The easy to see coming twist at the end was, well, easy to see coming. But still worked as funny way to keep the Prisoner Karai storyline going.

My only question is what is the deal with this Steranko guy? Have we seen him before? And why did purple 1980’s Michael Jackson Tron character bust his eye? I want another backstory! And why did he actually lick the Spear of Destiny when Zeck asked him to?
“Hey, Bro! Lick my spear!” “Sure thing, Bro!”
NO QUESTIONS ASKED!?

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